Remix thoughts

[stripytights]

I never miss a chance to chew over things that don't bear the chewing, so why not subject my remix to the same process?

First off, remixing is hard. I've written a remix before, but that was for a friend as a swap - which brought the different problem of worrying over creating something that would be enjoyed - but lacked the other worries of an organised exchange remix. First off, I was more than a little worried that I'd be matched with someone whose fics I wouldn't be able to remix. My tastes are wide and varied, but if it'd been a masterlist full of Sam/Gabriel, or comprised only of fics that dwelt on the many faces of orgasm denial, I would have been looking vainly around for a paddle (in fairness, I almost didn't sign up because I worried that someone assigned me, would find a masterlist that was equally tear-inducing, if in different directions).

As it happened, I was assigned someone with an interest in rarepairs and a wide variety of them at that. This was good news to me as it meant new fic to read - a not negligible plus side to the whole challenge was, pre-assignment, getting to poke through a few fics I'd never read (as it turns out during that reading binge, I left a comment on a fic by rivkat, which I really enjoyed - The Road and she appears, post-reveal, as my assigned author with a really interesting take on One More Coal.)

Anyhow, mako_lies had pairings ranging from Kevin/Dean, Sarah/Sam (a fic I remembered enjoying from spnspringfling), Cas/Meg, Kevin/Sam, and Abaddon/Naomi etc. This removed the easy option of picking a pairing that I usually write and the comfort zone inherent in that which was an especially good thing for this exchange. I enjoy rarepairs as a rule so I had a good read through, and then applied my sorting criteria which was basically that I didn't want to remix any gen because that seemed infinitely more difficult, and that as I'm not confident on Kevin, it seemed like a bad time to try writing about/through him. Maybe some other time, but not for an exchange.

So I narrowed it down to Blankets, because it gave me a chance to write something for season 10 that wasn't porn, and a chance to write Sassy, for which I have a big soft spot, but have written almost nothing for.

Of course, once picked, stage nerves made their debut. I wrote a whole fic, which I then scrapped because it was just sex - and one of the rules is that you can't change the storyline of the fic in fundamental ways. In the original story they kiss and then go their separate ways. So the worry was whether the divergence was too extreme, particularly given that I'd included other changes which made it into the final draft, around the motivation of Cas, and the degree and type of feelings present in the scene. The same fic, but with sex instead of a kiss would ironically have felt like too much of a remix and not enough of one at exactly the same time.

The first thing I knew I wanted to do for sure was flip POV from Sam to Cas, partially because while I enjoy Sam POV a lot, I'm also a sucker for Sam viewed from the outside. It gave me a chance to unpick a lot of complicated emotions in regards to Sam that I think Cas would have, including playing off the insecurity from the original fic, shifting the cause of the kiss, the leaving, and in general keeping fairly strictly to the layout and details of the remixed fic, while altering Castiel's motivation and internal view in a way that would still make sense from the original fic's POV.

The other major change I made, apart from altering small parts of the timeline - Cas kisses first, switching POV, and character motivation, was purely stylistic. The original fic had a pleasing sparseness to the style which matched Sam's simple grief in the story. I however, gave in to all my worst instincts with this fic. All of the behaviours I commonly try and excise from my fic - they'll never leave entirely, but I do attempt some purging, were given purposeful free rein. It resulted in what I think of internally as a laundry list of my writing tics - suffocatingly dense language - certainly, overwrought emotion - definitely, fixation on senses that aren't sight, enjoyment of overdone metaphors, hardly any dialogue, but a mindnumbing amount of thinking, interest in issues around possession and autonomy even in supposedly positive ways such as healing without offering it.

Most of the time, writing and posting fic carries with it a certain amount of worry which strikes me as only sensible mostly, specifically worry over how it'll be received, measured in comments/kudos. Ironically, in this, the fic where I stake out all my weaknesses for display, it was also the fic I was the least concerned about comments (bar the reaction of the remixer of course - I really didn't want to write something they'd hate or that they felt didn't engage/understand the spirit of the original fic) because there's a certain freedom in writing something that caters so very much to yourself. As Remix is a low feedback exchange anyway, the question was mostly moot, but it's the thought that counts.

In terms of what I'd do differently. If I sign up next year, I'm going to endeavour to be more daring in what I do with the material, and how I approach it. I look forward to it.

Not to miss an advertising chance in spite of all of the fine words above, the fic is called Situational Failure (The Chicken Soup Remix) and it can be found here
http://stripytights.livejournal.com/62957.html

Comments

[kalliel]

This was fascinating process talk; thanks for sharing this reflection! So much food for thought.

[stripytights.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I try and limit my writing process talk because it's generally something that only intrigues me, but I thought the Remix angle was interesting, and I always love it when other people talk about it.

[kalliel]

Noooooooooooo I love shop talk!!! I always love reading it. <3

[fireheart13.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed your remix! I admire people who try it. I've never attempted it myself, not have I ever BEEN remixed. It must be interesting to see your original thoughts and idea turned askew! I thought your Cas POV was excellent, and it was all still so aching and sad.

[stripytights.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it was a tad scary to undertake (from both ends) of not wanting to offend the original writer, and also that fear that whoever remixes you might show disdain/dislike for the original. Appreciate the feedback - and also the beta-ing!